


The Choices We Make

by Sariasprincy



Category: Naruto
Genre: Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Open ended decision, Unplanned Pregnancy, pro choice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-05 20:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14626529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sariasprincy/pseuds/Sariasprincy
Summary: He was the Head of the Uchiha Clan and she the fearless discipline of the Hokage, but how the hell was she supposed to find the strength to tell him she was pregnant? MadaSaku. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.





	1. Chapter 1

_**The Choices We Make** _   
_**MadaSaku** _   
_**Part one** _

With trembling hands, Sakura slowly lowered herself onto the bathroom floor before her knees gave out on her. She exhaled shakily, no longer sure if the churning of her stomach was from what she had just learned or rather the morning sickness she suspected she had been experiencing for a few days now. Most likely a little of both.

It felt unreal. She had thought she had just been pushing herself too hard and not taking care of herself again as the hospital once more became overrun with injured shinobi. With summer about to be in full swing, the number of missions always increased as small cities bordering their country requested the assistance of their ninja. Never once had she considered the possibility of being pregnant. Not until Shizune had teased her the night before when she walked into their shared office to find Sakura demolishing an entire box of donuts by herself.

Sakura would have taken a test right then if not for the fact an entire squadron had been rushed into the ER from an ambush. The women had spent the whole night fighting for the lives of their comrades and while Shizune had chosen to celebrate their victory by catching up on some sleep, Sakura had slipped away to the bathroom.

Another rush of emotion swelled in her chest as she pulled the test from the counter to hold it at eye level. There was no mistaking the double blue line that told her she was expecting, but there was no relief or happiness. Only aching anxiety of what she would do now.

Pressing a hand to the base of her throat, Sakura closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall, no longer able to stare at the plastic stick. How the hell did this happen?

Well, she knew how _it_ happened, but _how_ did it happen?

Sakura didn't need an exam to tell her how far along she was. She already knew she was approaching her sixth week as it had been that long since the last time she'd been with anyone. She tried not to recall that night, but it was hard not to now that she was facing the consequences.

A coded scroll had come in from Suna. Normally Shikamaru was their go-to cryptographer, but with him being out of the village on a mission, the Hokage had asked for Madara, the Head of the Uchiha Clan, and Sakura herself. Having worked with the older male on multiple occasions and even once healing some nasty wounds from a hard-won battle, they had worked together comfortably, their intelligence and intellect easily melting together.

Until they deciphered the letter to find it was from Temari detailing Suna's plan to protect itself from the ever-growing threat from the Village Hidden in Valleys. Attached had been a second page they would later learn after decoding it was a very personal note for Shikamaru, describing in far more detail than Sakura ever needed to hear exactly what the Sand kunoichi would do to him the next time she came for a visit.

Her conversation with the Uchiha Head had turned more brazen and flirtatious after that. Somehow, they had ended up half-naked as Madara took her on the very counter they had been hunched over only minutes before with her thighs around his hips and his arms caging her in as their mouths kissed every inch of skin they could reach.

It had been a one-time thing. They had parted ways and never spoken of the matter again, even on the occasion when they shared tea and perhaps a meal. Sakura hadn't regretted their night together. Until now.

Again, the question of what she would do crossed her mind. She needed to tell Madara. But she didn't want to tell him. With his status, it was all very complicated and things could get very political very quickly. She would have to calculate and consider everything very carefully before she did anything.

But not right now. Right now, all she wanted was to go home, sit on the couch, eat a tub of ice cream while she cried and take a nap. All in that order.

And that's just what she did. Except after Sakura kicked off her shoes and made a beeline to her freezer, she realized she didn't have any ice cream. Or any food in her fridge at all that hadn't already expired. Tears immediately sprang to her eyes and she slammed the door closed before she wiped at her face furiously.

Sakura would not allow herself to be overcome with emotion. She was a strong kunoichi, in every sense of the word. She had trained under the Godaime herself, she was the first person in the village to kill a member of Akatsuki, she had mastered the Yin Seal and she...and she had gotten herself pregnant with Uchiha Madara's child.

Sakura promptly burst into tears again. Through blurry eyes, she found her way to her couch and unceremoniously plopped down onto the cushions before she buried her face in her hands. She didn't know how long she cried as she curled into herself but eventually the tears stopped as she drifted off, her body and mind in need of rest.

* * *

It was unclear how much time had passed before Sakura roused again. She woke groggily, her bones like heavy stones and her eyes itchy and puffy. She felt no better emotional or physically than before her nap, and she was content to just roll over into a more comfortable position and fall back into the blissfulness that was sleep when she realized she wasn't alone.

Slowly Sakura rolled over to face her quiet visitor, already having recognized his chakra. Though what he was doing in her little living space, she had no idea.

Kakashi.

He was sitting in her armchair, the one she frequented often while reading through medical textbooks and journals, his feet propped up on the corner of her coffee table and his familiar, orange book in hand. Some moments passed, the silence broken only by the soft rustling of a turning page, before Sakura finally pushed herself up, aware Kakashi would not have stayed if he hadn't a reason.

After rubbing a hand over her swollen eyes, Sakura peered at her old sensei. He was dressed as usual in his black, shinobi pants and three-quarter sleeve shirt while his mask and forehead protector covered the majority of his face. His boots were absent, left next to the door by her own, as was his Jounin vest but otherwise he looked no different than he normally did. She eyed him tiredly. He didn't look injured. So what did he want?

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Her voice was quiet but raw and rough from her earlier release of emotion. If her face hadn't yet given away the fact she had been crying, her voice definitely had but she made no move to cover it up. Kakashi had been a part of her life for over ten years; he had probably noticed something was wrong the moment he walked through her door - or snuck in her window. She hoped that wasn't why he stayed.

"Whenever I'm late, I always like to think of an excuse before I meet with the person," Kakashi said without lowering his book. "However, since I didn't give you the opportunity, allow me to offer you some. 'Lost on the path of life' is always a personal favorite of mine. As is 'A black cat crossed my path, you see, so I had to take the long way around.' They're both very good so please feel free to take your pick."

Confused, Sakura's brows furrowed as she shook her head slowly. "What're you talking about?"

This time Kakashi did lower his book to peer at her with his visible, dark eye. He studied her a moment before he sighed. "It appears you've forgotten about your poor, old sensei. We were supposed to meet to spar three hours ago."

Her expression remained unchanged until a vague memory resurfaced of her agreeing to meet him just before noon before getting a quick lunch. In all that had happened that morning, Sakura had completely forgotten and she let out a low groan as she pressed her palms to her eyes before she dragged her hands down her face.

"I'm so sorry. A squad was ambushed late last night and I..." Sakura trailed off as she recalled the little, white stick she had thrown into the back of the deepest drawer of her desk. Tears filled the corners of her eyes, but she swallowed thickly and blinked them back. "A lot just happened this morning and it slipped my mind."

"I see," Kakashi murmured. "Are you alright?"

The quiet concern coloring his tone immediately brought her tears back with renewed vengeance and a few escaped down her face before she was able to wipe them away. "No," she said shakily. "I mean yes, but I...I don't know."

He stared at her perplexed. "Okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

Sakura's immediate reaction was to shake her head and keep it all bottled up, but she trusted Kakashi and she knew if there was one person she could talk to about her situation, it was him. Her old sensei may be a little dorky and a lot of a pervert, but when it came to personal affairs, he could be trusted with even the darkest of secrets. She took a breath as she prepared herself for what she was about to reveal.

"You've fucked up before."

Kakashi blinked. "Thanks…I think?"

"No," she corrected. "I mean, you know what it's like to make a mistake. A horrible, horrible mistake."

His confusion was evident even behind his mask, but he nodded slowly nonetheless. "I have. More times than I care to count."

His honest admission gave her some reassurance but she still hesitated before finally saying the words she hadn't yet admitted to anyone: "I slept with Madara."

"Last night? How…?" Kakashi asked. "Wait, was this before or after the ambushed squad."

"No. It was a month and a half ago."

"Oh," he murmured. But he was always excellent at reading 'underneath the underneath' and his eye widened. " _Oh."_

Automatically his gaze dropped to her stomach and she looked away as her eyes filled with tears again. The room lapsed into silence with the exception of her soft sniffling and Kakashi waited for her to regain most of her composure before gently prodding, "Are you two...is he courting you?"

A hollow laugh escaped her as she wiped the dampness from her eyes. Her mascara from the night before stained her fingers and she let out a soft curse as she attempted to wipe the black smears onto her shorts. She looked up when she suddenly found Kakashi standing next to her, a tissue in his hand, and she murmured a quiet thanks as she accepted it from him.

"No," Sakura finally answered as she cleaned her face. "It was a one-night...thing."

"Were you drunk?"

She looked at him sharply as he settled himself beside her. "Why do you ask?"

Kakashi merely shrugged unapologetically. "I'm not judging you. Uchiha Madara's kinda known for being an ass. I'm just surprised you'd do him. Willingly."

It was a moment before her glare faded. "It just sorta happened."

"It always does," he muttered quietly. Then louder he added, "Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. I mean, what will happen if I do?" she asked. "He's the Head of the Uchiha Clan. Am I going to have to marry him?"

Kakashi shot her a mildly amused look. "You're the Godaime's apprentice, Sakura. She would kill Madara before she allowed anyone to force you into a marriage with him."

His light teasing caused a small smile to caress her lips but it quickly faded. "Still, this child is half-Uchiha. You know they're not going to let me raise it on my own. They'll want to train them as a shinobi, whether it's what me or the baby wants."

"Then will you terminate?"

His question hung in the air like a physical weight. She had already considered the option but just like the time before, she felt her throat close up and her heart ached behind her ribs at the thought. Sakura had always wanted children - at least one girl - but she hadn't planned for one this early in her career and she didn't know if she was ready for one yet.

"I don't know," she eventually whispered. "There's a lot to consider."

Next to her Kakashi nodded, fully aware that the decision she was to make was hers and hers alone. "Well you don't need to decide right now," he told her. "Or even today or tomorrow. Just think about it. But you'll need to decide before you start to show. You don't want Madara to learn by rumor."

She nodded but didn't reply as she picked absently at her tissue. Kakashi rested a supportive hand on her shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze before he withdrew his touch. He was never one for physical contact but the simple gesture gave her some solace and the heavy burden on her shoulders felt lighter - if only a little.

"Do you need anything?" Kakashi finally asked.

Sakura pursed her lips together as her chin trembled slightly. "Ice cream."

He blinked in surprise and opened his mouth, but his words seemed to fail him. She got the impression he was about to tell her that hadn't been exactly what he meant but then his shoulders slackened and an amusement smile formed under his mask.

"What flavor?"

_**tbc...** _


	2. Chapter 2

_**The Choices We Make** _   
_**MadaSaku  
** **Part two**_

Madara rubbed his jaw to hide his frown. The other hand was loosely clasping a cup of sake but it remained untouched as he eyed the many attendees gathered within the large banquet hall. Before him, the celebration honoring of the Hokage's birthday was in full swing, meaning that most of the shinobi present were quickly on their way to becoming intoxicated, if they weren't already.

It would have been amusing - if not for the fact that Madara was never fond of large gatherings. As the Head of the Uchiha Clan, he was required to be in attendance at such assemblies; to show his respect and support for their fearless leader. And while Madara did hold Lady Tsunade in the highest regard, he wished he could show his dedication in a less _trying_ manner.

Suppressing a sigh, Madara swept his gaze across the room again. At the head of the large dining table, the Hokage sat in her favorite white tunic with her green robe over her shoulders. There had been a bottle of sake in the woman's hand ever since he had arrived some hours ago; however, she still appeared sober, much to his wonder. Her blonde hair was pulled back in her usual ponytails as her hazel eyes shone with mirth. Even from his distance, he could see she was attempting to mingle in the personal affairs of her closest friend and advisor, Shizune. The dark-haired woman was fighting a blush as she glared half-heartedly at Tsunade.

His interest in their exchange quickly dwindled; however, he took a second look as Haruno Sakura approached the women. She was dressed for the occasion in a pair of form-fitting, black slacks and a white sweater that emphasized the highlights in her cherry blossom-colored hair, and unconsciously he studied her as she addressed the Hokage.

Even in the sea of bodies, she was uniquely gorgeous. Between her beauty and her sharp intelligence, it was of no surprise Madara had desired her. He still enjoyed reminiscing about that late night in the Hokage Tower all those weeks ago as they knocked important documents aside and engaged in a very personal act in a not-so-personal place. However, the memory faded abruptly as another attendee appeared at her side.

Hatake Kakashi.

Madara's frown finally revealed itself fully as he observed the older male place a hand to the small of her back. He knew it wasn't his place to feel irked with their familiarity but he couldn't help the small twinge of betrayal that nestled between his ribs. Madara recognized that he and Sakura weren't exclusive. He had enjoyed her company in every sense of the word, but he had only been granted one night with her and as much as he pretended to be unaffected by her new companionship, a dangerous emotion twisted and coiled deep in his chest.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you weren't enjoying the party, big brother."

Slipping his gaze from the pair, Madara peered up at his younger brother as he lowered himself into a chair beside him. There was a faint smirk on Izuna's face like he was enjoying a private joke as he plucked the untouched sake from Madara's grip.

"You and I are both aware that I am only present by necessity, not desire," Madara countered, feeling some of his annoyance ebb as he watched his brother make a face after taking a large sip of the drink. Madara knew the alcohol was to be warm by now.

Grimacing, Izuna set the porcelain cup aside before he signaled to a passing waiter. "You never were very much fun. You know what your problem is?"

"A younger brother."

Izuna shot him a mildly unimpressed look before he continuing, "You're too wound up. You need to loosen up - have fun. Get a drink, go mingle, talk to somebody."

"Are you implying I need to screw someone?" Madara asked flatly.

"I was trying not to say it so colorfully, but essentially yes."

He glared at Izuna before his gaze unconsciously drew to the last place he had seen Sakura. She had disappeared, as had her old sensei, but he didn't know if that made him more irritated or less, and so he chose to distract himself by stealing Izuna's fresh sake while his brother was distracted by something across the room. He knocked the entire porcelain cup back in one go.

"You have spent far too much time speaking to the elders," Madara murmured.

Izuna briefly glared at his stole glass before he shrugged. "Perhaps. But they're not wrong. As the head of the clan, it is your responsibility to child an heir-."

"I do not need you to tell me of my responsibilities," he retorted sharply. He was under enough pressures without his brother's added opinions. Whatever patience he had left for the night vanished and he abruptly pushed back his chair before he stood. "I am heading back to the compound."

Izuna blinked in surprise. "You can't leave yet. You're the Head of the Clan."

"I am aware of my position. However, to keep the political leaders happy, there only needs to be one high-ranking member of the clan present. As it currently stands, there are two," he countered pointedly. "Besides, I have been present for hours. The Hokage and her advisors will have already made note of my attendance. Therefore, I am no longer required to stay."

A frown marred Izuna's face but eventually he sighed and waved him away as he muttered under his breath how pompous Madara was. The older Uchiha huffed softly in amusement, knowing his brother had said it loud enough for him to hear on purpose, before he quietly exited the large room.

The hallway was far more private as the conversation of the party became hushed behind the large, entrance doors. Two lonely, ANBU operatives stood guard on either side, but Madara didn't doubt there were more both inside and outside the building. The party was after all for the most important person within the village and security would be heightened with the risk of an attack.

As he passed, Madara didn't spare either of them a glance before he continued further into the Hokage Tower and towards the main staircase. Another figure was already ascending the stairway and automatically he drew to a stop upon the top stair as he recognized none other than Sakura. Her attention was focused on her sweatshirt as she dabbed at a light stain blemishing the white of the fabric while muttering something about the Uzumaki kid and his idiocies.

She cast a brief glance in his direction, only to still as her emerald eyes settled upon him. "Madara, hi."

"Sakura," he greeted monotonously.

She smiled at him but it was obviously forced and didn't quite brighten her stunning, emerald eyes. A loaded silence passed between them as she absent-mindedly played with the hem of her sweater until she cleared her throat lightly. "Are you...enjoying the party?"

Madara observed her closely, only too clearly recalling the interaction he had witnessed between her and Hatake Kakashi. The jealousy burning in the pit of his stomach returned but he kept his expression neutral as he inclined his head. "It was pleasant," he lied.

"Was? You're leaving already?"

"I am currently needed elsewhere," he said as he finally began his descent down the long staircase. He nodded politely as he passed her. "You will have to excuse me."

"Oh..."

Madara wasn't entirely sure what it was about her tone that caused his stomach to twist uncomfortably and his chest to tighten, but before he could consider the consequences of his next actions, he stopped before he half-turned back to face her. "If I may be so bold, are you seeing Hatake Kakashi?"

"What?" Sakura asked. The disappointment in her expression faded to be replaced with utter confusion. "No. Why would you even ask that?"

"I noticed you began avoiding me around the same time Hatake started spending more time with you."

"He's my ex-sensei."

"He left your condo last night at three in the morning."

She blinked in surprise. "How do you even know that?"

The fact she hadn't denied his claim caused his anger to bubble again and he watched her coolly as he replied, "Hatake was needed for a special assignment with the Military Police last night. They located him at your residence."

Understanding passed over her face before she shook her head. "That doesn't mean that we're dating."

"Just another one night then?"

Madara left his words to hang in the air as he met her gaze unwavering. A heavy silence pressed between them until eventually he turned away. He didn't even take a single step before the familiar sound of a kunai slicing through the air reached his ears. The weapon grazed the side of his face, not quite touching his skin, but close enough to make the warning only too clear, before it embedded itself into the floor at the bottom of the stairs. Madara stared at it, stuck somewhere between being amazed Sakura had the audacity to draw a weapon on him and impressed with her incredible aim, before he slowly faced her once more.

A dangerous glare had taken up occupancy on her face, hardening her eyes into stony emeralds and reminding him exactly how this kunoichi had gained her reputation. If he were a lesser shinobi, he would have cowered under her stare.

"You do not get to treat me like I owe you something," she growled. Her voice was quiet but sharp and piercing like the weapon she had just drawn. "You left _me_ at the end of the night, so you don't get to call me a whore."

Madara's anger faded as the implication of his statement sunk in. "...that is not what I intended to imply-."

"That was _exactly_ what you meant to imply."

He said nothing, not knowing how to begin to apologize for his thoughtlessness. Sakura merely scoffed at him before she spun on her heels and stormed the rest of the way up the stairs.

The silence was nearly deafening as Madara was left to himself. Even alone, he could still feel her anger and her _hurt_ as it pressed down onto him, and he released a burdened sigh as he raked a hand through his mane of dark locks only for his bangs to fall back into place. Never in his life had he felt like he had stepped so far out of line.

Sakura was right. Whether consciously done or not, he had spoken as if she were still bound to him when he had no right to pass judgement over her. He couldn't blame her for her being cross with him. It left a heaviness in his chest but he didn't move to follow her. She was clearly furious with him and Madara knew she wouldn't accept his apology no matter how fully he meant it.

With a frown fully seated upon his face, he eventually turned and silently slipped out of the Hokage's Tower only pausing briefly to retrieve the kunai embedded at the bottom of the stairs.

* * *

Madara hated the hospital. But then again, most shinobi did. It was far too bright and reeked of antiseptic. Death clung to the air like an invisible fog that left most ninja uneasy and itching to escape through the nearest exit, whether that be a door or window. In all honesty, Madara hadn't spent much time within the walls himself and he found himself out of place amongst the many scrub-clad medical staff and utterly lost within the confusing, winding halls.

It was only after he somehow found himself back in the main reception area for the third time that he finally resigned himself to requesting assistance. There was a young nurse seated behind the desk speaking to another visitor already and he waited until she had finished helping them before he approached.

"May I help-?" Her eyes widened in recognition and she hastily rose to her feet to bow respectfully. "Uchiha-sama, how can I please assist you today?"

"I am looking for Haruno-san," he replied smoothly, unfazed by her zealous reaction. "Is she available?"

"Sakura-san?" she repeated curiously. "She's usually either in surgery or getting caught up on paperwork in her office. I can page her if you'd like-."

"No," Madara quickly interrupted as she reached for the phone on her desktop. With how things had ended between them only a few days earlier, he suspected Sakura wouldn't answer his call, even if his visit had been prompted by medical reasons. "That is alright. I will see if she is in her office."

The nurse furrowed her brow but eventually lowered the phone back down into its cradle. "Are you sure, Uchiha-sama? It would be no inconvenience."

"Quite sure. If you could just direct me to her location."

"Of course. Just take the elevator to the third floor. Her office is just through the double doors on the right, last door at the end of the hall," she explained politely. "If she's not there, it's likely she got called into an emergency."

With nothing more than a nod of thanks, Madara followed her directions to the third floor. He passed through the double doors the nurse had described and continued down the hall until it came to a 'T'. At the end was a single door with Sakura's name etched into a plaque beside it and silently he made towards it just as movement out of the corner of his eye drew his gaze. Madara slowed to a halt as he recognized none other than Hatake Kakashi.

The silver-haired male was leaning against the wall around the corner from where Madara had just come, his ever-present orange book in hand and his chakra conveniently masked. He was unperturbed by Madara's appearance, but the Uchiha Head knew better. This meeting was no accident.

"Why am I not surprised to find you lurking?" Madara said evenly. He wasn't sure if he was more annoyed or amused at finding the elite Jounin shadowing his ex-student.

Kakashi's attention didn't waver from his book as he effortlessly turned the page. "Walk away, Uchiha."

"I need to speak with Haruno-san, which tends to work best when we are both present."

"Haruno-san," he repeated as he lowered the orange novel just enough to briefly flicker his gaze at the Madara. Kakashi's tone reflected his amusement at the respectful title but he didn't comment on it further as he cocked his head. "Are you certain _she'll_ want to speak _you_?"

Whatever amusement Madara might have been feeling vanished as the implication of Kakashi's words settled deep in his chest. Guilt weighed on his shoulders and a tense silence passed before Madara spoke again, "She told you what happened then."

"No, she didn't," Kakashi said as he returned to his book. "I had just assumed you were your usual, arrogant self. Seems my presumptions were correct."

"So you chose to linger outside her door to protect her from me," Madara asked coolly.

"I think we both know Sakura doesn't need protecting."

"Then why intercept me? To threaten me into staying away?"

"I would love nothing more than to beat you into the ground," Kakashi said as he meet his gaze evenly. His comment would have been casual if not for the undertone of sadistic pleasure in his voice as he smiled pleasantly. "But as a high-ranking member within the Hokage's advisors, it would be frowned upon for me to engage in such actions. No matter how justified."

"Do you really believe you can go head-to-head with me, Hatake?" Madara asked. He narrowed his eyes as he took an intimidating step towards the younger but powerful shinobi.

Kakashi straightened, his expression calm behind his mask but there was no mistaking the challenge reflecting in his grey eye. "If I have to, I will-."

"What the hell is going on!"

At the booming voice, both men stilled and snapped their heads towards the end of the hall. Sakura was standing some yards away, dressed in a pair of scrubs and a surgical hat that kept her hair out of her face and off her neck to reveal its slender curve as a fierce glare marred her usually calm aura. Her steps were ground-eating as she closed the distance between them, her anger nearly suffocating as her emerald eyes alternated between the men.

The top of her head barely reached their broad shoulders, making her appear tiny in comparison but by sheer presence, she towered over them and Madara swallowed thickly as he realized he had never seen her so furious before. She was quite the sight to behold.

"I can feel your chakra all the way down on the surgical floor. This is supposed to be a hospital! People come here to heal. If you two want to brawl, do it outside!"

Madara's gaze briefly dropped in apology as Kakashi shifted slightly next to him. Both men remained silent, neither entirely sure how to explain themselves.

"Well?" she snapped.

When Kakashi didn't speak, Madara cleared his throat lightly as he met her stern gaze. "I was hoping I might request a private audience with you."

Her expression remained unchanged as she briefly shifted her eyes to Kakashi. Madara got the impression she suddenly understood what their heated conversation had been about, but she didn't clarify as she finally turned her heavy gaze back to him. "I have to be in surgery in six minutes. It takes me four to scrub in. I suggest you talk quickly."

"Perhaps we could speak over tea once you complete your shift then," Madara offered softly.

Sakura's eyes narrowed fractionally. "What could you possibly have left to say to me?"

Her words embedded in his chest like a blade but he didn't flinch away from her. She had every right to be angry with him and he would respect her decision to refuse to meet him in private if that was what she truly wanted. However, expressing his emotions had always been difficult for him, even more so in another's presence and it was a moment before he found his words.

"I wanted to apologize, Sakura," Madara finally said. He was only too aware of Kakashi standing only a few feet away next to him, but his gaze didn't linger from Sakura, even as she continued to half-glare at him, her arms crossed over her scrub top. "What I said to you was not only cruel and unkind, but it was unfair and unjustified. And for that I am sorry."

Her expression didn't change but the anger rolling off of her in waves gradually lessened until it was less of a suffocating pressure and more of a soft hum. Her gaze flickered to Kakashi fleetingly before she eyed him again, a frown pulling on the corners of her mouth, until she finally spoke, "I have to go. I have surgery."

Without waiting for a response, Sakura turned and disappeared down the hall she had come from. Madara silently watched her take her leave as guilt and disappointment wrapped around him and settled on his shoulders. He had been hoping for a better response, but he couldn't entirely blame her lack of forgiveness.

"I warned you to walk away."

With his own frown darkening his features, Madara slid his gaze to Kakashi just as the Jounin disappeared in a puff of smoke. Madara glared at the last place the well-renowned shinobi had been standing before he breathed a heavy sigh and cast his attention down the hall where Sakura had left.

Her anger was still tangible in the air and it gnawed at Madara that he had wounded her so profoundly that she refused to even acknowledge his apology - something which he did not do lightly. But there was nothing more he could do. If she wanted their companionship to end here - however minimal it had been to begin with - then he would accept her decision.

It was her choice.

_**tbc...** _


	3. Chapter 3

_**The Choices We Make** _  
_**MadaSaku** _  
_**Part three** _

A deep ache throbbed in the pit of Sakura's stomach, causing her grip on the edge of the sink to tighten and her knuckles to bleed white. She slipped her eyes closed against the pain and focused solely on inhaling and exhaling until it slowly dwindled and dulled into a more manageable pang.

It wasn't the first time she had experienced light cramping since she had discovered her pregnancy and just like before, she pressed a chakra-laced hand to her abdomen to ease the muscle pain until she was left with just her usual, hindering morning sickness.

Days like these made Sakura take a second look at her life and question just what the hell she had been thinking when she slipped into bed - or rather onto the counter - with Madara. However, she didn't allow herself to dwell on the matter this time. She had agreed to meet him this morning for tea before she headed to the hospital for her shift, and she needed to leave shortly to make it on time.

Swallowing back the bile rising in her throat, Sakura raised a hand from where they had been braced against the counter to turn the faucet on. She splashed some cool water on her overheated skin and took a moment to collect herself before she exited the tiny bathroom connected to her bedroom to gathered her paperwork for the hospital. Once she was certain she had everything she needed for the day, she swiped her keys from the counter and headed out into the awakening village.

With the early hour, there were few venders and even fewer citizens out and about, leaving a hushed sense of tranquility over the village. A cool, dawn breeze was blowing through the streets and stirring the dust upon the sun-dried road. It powdered the toes of her boots and swirled around her ankles, but Sakura didn't pay it any mind as she read through the patient file in her hand, her gaze only drawing up to smile in greeting at the occasional shinobi as they passed.

Her journey to the teahouse was otherwise uninterrupted. Sakura had frequented it with the Uchiha Head on a number of previous occasions and her feet followed the familiar path without her having to stop and recall the way.

Sakura was less than a block away when nausea threatened to overcome her again and she paused under the shade of a shop's awning to press a hand to her mouth as she tucked the chart safely under her other arm. The bile was thick and hot in her throat but she pursed her lips together, refusing to give into her body's demands.

_'Mind over body, mind over body,'_ she repeated mentally. The last thing she wanted was for Madara to learn of her pregnancy by puking all over him. _'Although it would be fitting,'_ she realized with a soft snort.

Her sudden amusement chased the worst of her sickness away and she swallowed thickly as she distracted herself by entertaining the comical image. It would certainly be a story worth-telling, that much was certain.

Sakura was still smiling softly when she finally arrived at the small teahouse. The doors were wide open in hospitality and she stepped inside before she scanned the dining room in search of Madara. She quickly realized he wasn't present in the empty room, and she turned expectantly when an employee approached her.

"Welcome, Haruno-san," the young woman greeted respectfully. "Uchiha-sama has reserved the private room for you this morning."

Sakura bit back a snort. _Of course he did._

The hostess silently gestured for Sakura to follow her before she led them down a small hallway and away from the rest of the mainroom. They stopped before a traditional shoji and the young woman made their presence known before she slid the door opened and entered. "Uchiha-sama, Haruno-san has arrived," she bowed.

Sakura followed after the other woman but paused just inside the room as her gaze finally settled upon Madara. He had dressed up for the occasion in a dark grey robe made of the richest silks with the Uchiha fan stitched into each side over his breast bone. The color matched the smokiness of his eyes and complimented his handsome face. He was kneeling before a low-sitting table with his arms folded eloquently across his chest, his normally wild mane of hair pulled back into a simple ponytail that emphasized his strong jawline and broad shoulders.

Sakura swallowed hard as her mouth went dry. Next to him, she likely resembled someone who had just crawled out of bed, and she suddenly regretted her decision not to wipe the dust from her boots before entering the establishment. It felt as if she were in the presence of royalty.

Oh yes, she decided. It would be a very bad idea for her to puke on him.

"Thank you, Mito-san," Madara said. "You may leave us."

The young woman bowed again before she retreated out of the room, softly closing the shoji door behind her.

Alone with Madara, Sakura became the sole victim of his penetrating stare. His gaze seemed to pierce through her, causing her skin to prickle warmly, but she met his gaze evenly as he gestured towards the cushion across from him. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me. Please sit."

Without the additional audience, Madara's voice had taken on a warmer tone and just like that, her earlier amusement faded like dew in the morning sun as the weight on the situation settled upon her shoulders. She fidgeted minutely with the files in her hands as sudden nerves struck her, but she kept her expression in check as she carefully lowered herself down onto the offered seat.

Sakura placed her documents on the floor beside her before she finally settled her full attention upon Madara. There was a steaming pot of tea laid out before him with two porcelain cups on either side, but neither were touched. He had been waiting for her.

"I took the liberty of ordering white tea," Madara informed her as he picked up the serving spoon and began to fill her cup. "I recall you saying it was your favorite."

"It is," she nodded.

The subtle tension in the corners of his mouth lessened upon her answer and he offered the tea to her before he served himself. "I can order us something to eat as well if you are hungry."

"No," Sakura said a little too quickly. The fragrant scent wafting from her cup was already making her stomach churn. She doubted she would be able to even sip her tea without getting sick, let alone swallow any solid food. "No, thank you," she amended. "I can't stay long. I'm needed at the hospital soon."

Madara hid his disappointment well, but she had seen the small tug in the corners of his mouth just before he drank from his cup. "Of course. I do not wish to keep you." He placed his tea back down on the table before his heavy stare landed on her once more. "I requested a meeting with you to simply have the opportunity to apologize."

"You already apologized," she said not unkindly.

He nodded. "Yes. However, given the circumstances at the time, I felt another was necessary. I hope you will forgive me for the words I spoke to you."

Whatever grudge Sakura might have still held melted at the sincerity in his voice. The disappointment and regret he held towards his own actions was radiating off of him so strongly, it was nearly tangible, and his desire to set things right gave her a newfound respect for him. The tension in her chest faded and the minute frown pulling at the corners of her mouth vanished until all of her remaining hostilities disappeared like smoke in the wind. He was trying. It wouldn't be fair for her not to do the same.

"You're an ass," Sakura finally said, causing Madara to blink in surprise. Then her expression softened. "But at least you know when to apologize for it. I forgive you."

A smirk slowly spread across his face and he chuckled softly as they came to an understanding. "Thank you. I have something I have been meaning to return to you."

Her brows furrowed curiously as he reached into the inner lining of his robes, only for her eyes to widen a moment later as he withdrew a kunai and placed it upon the table. She didn't have to ask to know it was the very weapon she had thrown at his head only a few days earlier and she stared at it with wide eyes as he pushed it across the table to her.

"You have remarkable aim."

"I should probably apologize for that," she said sheepishly.

Madara merely chuckled again. "There is no need. However, if you truly wish to make it up to me, you can agree to a spar with me sometime. I may even let you get in a punch."

The tension drained out of her at his clear amusement, and a smirk played at the edge of her mouth as she slipped the weapon into the holster at her hip. "I don't need your handicaps to win."

"That I do not doubt."

Sakura warmed under the weight of his compliment. She knew Madara to be a proud man, one who didn't give praise lightly, and the fact it had rolled off his tongue so easily made her feel light with pride. She had worked hard to become the kunoichi she was and for her abilities to be acknowledged by someone who had flee-on-sight orders in five different countries, caused a feeling to bloom in her chest she hadn't felt in weeks now. Genuine happiness.

But it didn't last long.

Guilt slammed Sakura back to reality as the heavy burden of her secret pressed upon her shoulders. She was carrying the fetus of the man across from her and he was completely unaware by no fault of his own. She knew Madara had the right to know - he had the right to voice his own opinions about the future of their child - but the truth caught in her throat.

He looked so untroubled as he raised his cup and drank his tea. She didn't doubt Madara would make a good father, but she was concerned for her future as both a kunoichi and a medic. A child would change everything - her career, her reputation, her life. Their lives. Would it be selfish of her to terminate her pregnancy?

The answer was yes.

But she had always been selfless, sacrificing her time and her energy for both people she deeply cared for and for those she didn't know. As was the life of a medic. Would it really be so horrible of her to put herself above others just this once?

_Could she live with it if she did?_

Sakura opened her mouth but was unable to speak past the first syllable of Madara's name before he set his cup down. "Perhaps you are available this afternoon? I have a meeting with my clan's elders and I am only more than happy to reschedule it for another time."

Like a slap in the face, Sakura was only too well reminded of who Madara was. He wasn't just the man she had spent a night with; she was the Head of the Uchiha Clan, and his priorities were to his people and what was best for them. Everything else came second.

Her stomach flipped again. She didn't know if it was anxiety or her pregnancy that was the cause, but in either case she felt the bile rise in the back of her throat again. "I'm sorry, it'll have to wait until another time. I have patients all afternoon."

Sakura stared down at her untouched tea, unable to meet his gaze. She was afraid of the disappointment she would find reflecting back at her in the depths of his bottomless eyes and it was easier to hide her fear and uncertainty without his piercing stare pinning her in place.

"Of course," Madara said. His tone relayed nothing but understanding.

A loaded silence passed before Sakura finally cleared her throat and prepared to stand. "I should get to the hospital." She pushed herself to her feet before she bowed, unable to meet Madara's gaze. "Thank you for the tea."

Then she slipped out of the room silently, ensuring the shoji screen was closed behind her, and hurried out of the teahouse. She barely made it into the nearest alleyway before she puked.

##

"Dammit," Sakura cursed for the umpteenth time.

A growl of irritation mumbled low in her throat as she riffled through the nurses' desk. It was the third one she had been to in search of the patient file she'd misplaced that morning. She could have sworn she had brought it with her to the hospital, but with all the chaos that had happened in the last few hours, her memory was a little fuzzy on the details.

Slipping into the vacant chair behind the desk, Sakura pulled one of the drawers open and began thumbing through the pages stacked inside; however, it quickly became apparent that they were only extra blank chart pages, and she slammed it closed before she reached for the next drawer.

Digging through the files, Sakura flipped through folder after folder only for her hands to still as the familiar ache in the pit of her stomach returned. It stretched around to her lower back and provoked a flash of heat to spread throughout her body, causing her skin to prickle uncomfortably and her nausea to rise. With the adrenaline of surgery pulsing through her veins, Sakura had been able to block out the worst symptoms of her pregnancy most of the morning but it all came to a climax now as the high wore off, and she dug her fingers into the edges of the drawer as she fought against her sudden dizziness.

"You working the nurses' desk today?"

Start made Sakura's heart jump in her chest and she snapped her head up just as Shizune approached the other side of the counter with a chart in hand. She flashed Sakura an amused smile as she flipped the file open before she began documenting her notes inside with practiced ease.

"Very funny," Sakura retorted benevolently, only too relieved Shizune seemed unaware of her discomfort, before she continued her search through the desk. "I brought home a patient file with me last night - the kunoichi who came in with a low platelet count the other day - and now I can't find the damn thing. I thought I had it with me this morning, but I was dragged into an emergency surgery the moment I walked through the doors and now I can't remember where I put it."

Angry tears sprang to her eyes in her frustration and she slammed the drawer shut before she ripped open another. Her sudden fit drew Shizune's attention and she paused in her writing to eye Sakura. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Sakura said shortly. She blinked her tears away and forced a calming breath into her chest before she resumed her hunt with far more controlled. "I'm just irritated."

Shizune arched her brow curiously but didn't question her as she returned to her chart. "Did you look in your office? Maybe a nurse put it there for you."

"I hadn't looked. I should do that. Thanks," she said as she closed the drawer once more.

The older woman merely smiled at her before she continued updating her chart; however, Sakura didn't move to stand immediately. Should she tell Shizune about her pregnancy? There was no one else around and it would be such a relief to finally talk to someone else about what she was going through - talk to a woman about what she was going through. They were fairly close and she knew Shizune could be trusted to keep the information to herself. Perhaps she could give Sakura some comfort.

"Hey, are you busy right now?" Sakura asked.

Shizune briefly glanced up at her before she reread her notes for accuracy. "Not anymore than usual," she said as she closed her chart before she fixed her attention solely upon Sakura. "Why? What's up?"

Under her stare, Sakura's words felt heavy on her tongue and she chewed the inside of her cheek before she finally opened her mouth, "I-."

"Shizune-san! The patient in 212 is struggling to breathe!"

Both medics turned as a young intern ran up to the nurses' desk, panting slightly and obviously stressed. Shizune eyed her before she glanced at Sakura with a sigh, "I spoke too soon. I'll catch up with you later?"

Sakura nodded and waited until the pair had disappeared down the hall before she slumped against the back of the chair. The ache in her lower back had barely faded and she maneuvered in her seat slowly, trying both to stretch the throbbing muscles and find a more comfortable position. Her skin still felt hot and flushed, and she closed her eyes as she focused on breathing.

It was about the time she needed her first check up - to 'speak with her doctor about all her options' - but at this point, she only trusted Shizune to do it for her. She didn't think she could handle Tsunade's reaction upon learning Sakura was pregnant and the endless questions that would undoubtedly follow. It was the same reason she hadn't told her teammates, Naruto and Sasuke, or Ino, her best friend. They all cared for her, but secrecy was not their strong suits and none of them would be able to help her in the way she needed.

"You shouldn't push yourself so hard."

Sakura didn't immediately open her eyes, having already recognized the sudden chakra signature, and she massaged the lingering muscle pain as she replied, "I have a hospital to help run, Kakashi. I don't get the luxury of time off while I try to sort out my life."

When she was met with silence, Sakura slipped her eyes opened to fix ex-sensei with an unwavering stare. His posture exuded nonchalance as he leaned against the counter separating them, his arms supporting his weight, but his expression was unreadable behind his mask and she knew he was not here without a purpose.

"What?" she asked when he continued to observe her.

"Is that why you're leaving on a mission?"

The disapproval in his tone rang all too clearly in her ears and she pursed her lips together guiltily before she prodded quietly, "How did you hear about that?"

"I'm an adviser with the Hokage," he said as if it were obvious. "I hear about everything."

"Then you should know that all I'm doing is delivering a shipment of medical supplies to Suna. It's non-combative."

He frowned. "It's still dangerous."

"I'm pregnant, Kakashi. Not incapacitated," Sakura said flatly. "I can handle myself."

"I know you can," he said honestly, causing her to smile. But it quickly waned as he added, "I only meant that you don't have anything to prove. To anyone or yourself. You're not less of a shinobi because you're with child."

She sighed softly before she reclined back against her chair. "I know," she murmured.

Kakashi was right but that didn't mean she didn't _feel_ like she still had something to prove - still had to remind herself that she was a strong kunoichi and not just a girl who had gotten herself knocked up. That she was more than just someone who had spread her legs for a man she barely knew.

Tears sprung to her eyes again but she rubbed them away before they could fall. "It's been awhile since the last time I left the village," she eventually said. "It would be nice to get away."

"I see. You spoke with Madara."

Sakura looked up in surprise. She wasn't entirely sure how Kakashi had inferred that from her statement but she nodded, "I did."

"And?" he pressed.

Sakura picked at the hem of her shirt as she recalled her conversation with the older male earlier that morning. Emotion warred within her and a heavy silence passed between them as she searched for her words. "Madara is a good man. He's kind - when he wants to be," she added upon Kakashi's doubtful expression. "And he would take care of our child if we had one. Whether I decide to tell him or terminate is a life-altering choice."

"But you've made your decision."

She nodded slowly, the weight of what would come next pushing down on her and making her feel like the world rested upon her shoulder, like everything she knew and loved was about to change. "I think I've known what I was going to do for a long time. I just need to find the courage to do it."

"Then why leave on a mission?" he asked.

"I just need to process everything. To come to terms with what happens next."

"And you think leaving the village will give that to you?" There was no pressure or accusation in his voice, simply curiosity.

"I don't know, but it has to make me feel better than this."

"Which is?"

"Panic. Heart-gripping panic. Inside these walls I can't breathe. It feels like someone has wrapped their hands around my neck and is squeezing the life from me. I just-I can't...breathe," she murmured, her voice betraying her exhaustion. Her fingered tensed like they were doing exactly as she had described before they fell slack again.

She was tired and had been ever since she had learned of the new life growing within her. It wasn't just the physical aspect that had been wearing on her, but the stress and emotional burden that came with an unexpected pregnancy. Most of the time she just wanted to sit in her room and cry and wish that everything would magically be back to the way it was before. But she was a logical thinker and she was aware that nothing would change unless she did it herself.

"Let me come with you," Kakashi suddenly said.

She smiled fondly at him, warmed by his offer, but she shook her head as she stood. "No. I need to go alone."

Kakashi fell into step beside her as they left the nurses' station and headed to the elevator. "I'm not sure that's the best idea. Let me at least send one of my ninken with you."

A laugh bubbled out of Sakura's mouth as they stepped inside and she pressed the button for the floor her office was located on before she turned to him with an amused smile. "Why do I get the feeling you'll send one anyway even if I say no?"

Her ex-sensei cocked his brow at her as he looked down pointedly. Sakura suddenly became aware she had been unconsciously rubbing at the soreness in her lower stomach and she stopped abruptly as she sighed. Perhaps he did have a point.

"Alright, fine. But I want Pakkun."

Kakashi beamed under his mask as the elevator doors slipped open once more. She deliberately ignored the satisfaction rolling off of him but there was a smile of amusement dancing across her lips and she didn't complain as he followed her towards her office.

Sakura was barely a few steps down the hall when she looked up and came to an abrupt halt upon finding Madara standing at the nurses' desk as he spoke to one of the floor's medics. He had changed out of his formal robes and into a matching pair of grey shinobi pants and a long-sleeved shirt he had rolled up to his elbows. His dark grey, almost black vest, marking him as a commanding officer within the Konoha Military Police was over it giving him the appearance that was he was larger and broader than he actually was.

Sakura's brow furrowed in confusion. "Madara, what're you doing here?"

He turned expectantly at her call and gazed at Kakashi briefly before his attention fell to her. "I was looking for you."

"Why?" she asked bluntly. "I mean, is everything alright?"

Madara nodded. "All is well. I just came to return this to you. You left it at the teahouse this morning."

It was then that Sakura realized he had a file in hand and her eyes widened as she recognized her patient chart. "You found it! Thank you! I have been looking for this everywhere."

Without hesitating, Sakura stepped forward to accept the file from him. She nearly pulled it out of his hands in her relief and she quickly flipped it open to double check that none of her documents had gotten lost. She quickly made her way to the desk, ignoring the tension that was steadily thickening behind her, and glanced at the medic behind the desk.

"Oyone, can you please go retrieve the lab results from the patient in 310?"

The experienced medic nodded. "Right away, Sakura-san."

As she left, Sakura dropped her gaze back to the chart as she continued reviewing her notes from where she had left off the night before. Behind her, Kakashi and Madara spoke in hushed tones, their chakras a low hum, but she ignored them in favor of completing her paperwork. She had some catching up to do and didn't have time to be distracted by their frivolous rivalry.

Sakura inhaled sharply as the familiar pain in her lower stomach suddenly spiked. Her fingers tightened around the pen in her hand and she closed her eyes as she waited for the worst to fade. Only it didn't.

What had only been a deep ache this morning quickly sharpened into a intense, shooting pain that stole the breath from her lungs and made her world narrow until all she could feel was the acute flash of agony as it ripped through her abdomen. It was as if someone had stabbed a kunai into her stomach and was slowly twisting the blade in until it was buried to the hilt, and she gasped as it worsened.

"Sakura! What's wrong?"

When she finally blinked her eyes open again, she was on the floor and staring up into a pair of dark eyes filled with concern. Her vision tunnelled and she fought to remain conscious as she pressed her palm to the source of the pain. With much effort, chakra flared to life in her hand and fear filled her as she realized what was transpiring within her body.

"Get the Hokage." The pain subdued her voice and forced it to come out weak and breathless.

"What's happening?" they asked. Even through her pain, she could hear the anxiety wrapped around their question and she swallowed thickly.

"I'm having a miscarriage."

_**tbc...** _


	4. Chapter 4

_**The Choices We Make** _   
_**MadaSaku**_   
_**Part Four**_

_Miscarriage..._

The word echoed hollowly in Madara's thoughts. For the first time that he could remember, he couldn't grasp the concept, couldn't wrap his mind around the notion like water slipping through his his fingers. It was so foreign, so strange, and he rolled the syllables over as he tried to comprehend how and why.

And who.

Automatically Madara's gaze fell across the waiting room to where Hatake Kakashi was sitting. The elite Jounin was perched like Madara's mirror image, straight-backed and silent. His expression was stoic behind his ever-present mask, but his fingers tapped a quick rhythm against his leg, occasionally falling still only to start again once more. Madara's own anxieties created their own tempo in his chest as his heart pounded against the cage trapping it.

The adrenaline that had come upon watching Sakura fall and hearing the fear laced in her voice had faded, but his concerns had not. She had been rushed into surgery by the Hokage and he and Kakashi had been told nothing - except to wait. And wait they did.

There had been at least half a dozen other shinobi and civilians when he and the Copy Nin had first arrived, but one by one, everyone had filed out until they were the last ones left. It was maddening to be left in the dark, not knowing what had happened or what would happen next. Madara had never felt this helpless. Even decades ago when he had been a genin and only just first witnessing the true horrors of battle, he had known his adversary and been able to face it with fists and blades. Here, there was no enemy.

The sharp tick of the secondhand on the clock was the only sound to break the still air. Madara didn't know how much time had passed; it could have been hours or even days as the seconds stretched into minutes and the minutes became hours. The window behind him had begun to darken some time ago as the afternoon sun deepened into a fiery orange that engulfed the wall across from him and set the room ablaze, but his attention withdrew inward as more hows and whys plagued him.

It was the hushed echo of heels that finally interrupted the ceaseless ticking of the clock. With their well-trained hearing, both Madara and Kakashi heard the Hokage's familiar footsteps long before she entered the room, and they snapped to attention before springing to their feet just as she appeared in the doorway. Tsunade drew to an abrupt halt, having barely stepped foot inside the open waiting room, as the pair of elite shinobi greeted her.

"How is she-?"

"Is she alright-?"

Tsunade held up her hands to quiet their endless questions before they could begin. Her expression was shadowed with exhaustion, but there was no sign of grief nor sorrow. "Sakura will be fine. She lost a lot of blood, but she was able to slow it before she fell unconscious."

"What happened?" Kakashi asked.

The frown that fell upon Tsunade's face caused Madara's relief to vanish like dew in the summer sun. "Sakura had what we call an ectopic pregnancy." Upon both of their confused expressions, she continued, "When an egg is fertilized, it normally attaches to the uterine wall where it can grow and develop into a fetus. However, in an ectopic pregnancy, the egg instead attaches to the fallopian tube. As it grows, it puts pressure on the tube and if not caught in time, can cause it to rupture. In Sakura's case, it did."

Stunned silence met her words. A cold knot bundled under Madara's breastbone and a tense moment passed before he dared voice the question, "Can she still get pregnant?"

Tsunade arched her brow curiously but she nodded. "Yes. Her other tube was left intact so she should be able to conceive just fine. And hopefully next time it'll be a planned pregnancy," she said frostily. Her hazel eyes hardened into chips of ice as her gaze flickered between the two males. "Which one of you two idiots did this?"

Madara didn't immediately reply, still unsure of the answer himself, and automatically his gaze fell to Kakashi. However, the Jounin shook his head. "Sakura and I, we never…"

It shouldn't have come as a shock. The news was something Madara had been expecting all night, but hearing the words confirmed outloud that he was indeed the father was like a hit to his blind side. The air thickened in his lungs and he opened his mouth but he found his tongue had suddenly lost the ability to form words correctly.

"Well this is just great," Tsunade muttered.

Her tone conveyed her disappointment that it wasn't Kakashi. Politically, it would have been better and less complicated for all involved if Madara wasn't a part of the equation - perhaps that was why Sakura had chosen to hold her tongue on the matter - but he felt no bitterness. Only hollow.

"I didn't know," Madara finally said.

Tsunade's expression darkened but she said nothing as her gaze slid to Kakashi. "You knew."

"I did," he nodded.

"And you were going to let her leave on a mission tomorrow morning?" There was a cold undertone in her voice that gave away just how furious she truly was with the situation. "You realize that if this had happened tomorrow, she'd be dead."

There was no way any of them could have predicted this outcome. Kakashi was just as protective over the kunoichi as the rest of them - if not more so - but he said nothing as he bowed his head guiltily. Madara felt some sympathy towards the other man, but the fear of what-if overshadowed everything else. His only concern at that moment was Sakura herself.

"How long until she recovers?"

A moment passed before Tsunade pulled her icy gaze away from Kakashi. "She'll be sore for the next week or so. I'm ordering bedrest for a few days, but I expect she'll be back to where she was in a couple of weeks, maybe sooner. She's a medic," she told him as a hint of pride reflected behind her hazel eyes. "We heal quickly."

Madara nodded, relieved that her injured hadn't been more crippling, before he straightened. "I want to see her."

"No. I'm not allowing any visitors tonight," she said, her voice leaving no room for argument, before she turned to depart the way she had come. "If you wish to see her, you can come back in the morning."

"Forgive me, Hokage-sama, but it was not a request."

Tsunade immediately stilled before she slowly pivoted around once more. There was a reason this woman had been elected as their leader and the depth of that decision was emphasized now as Madara figuratively went head-to-head with the Hokage. Had he been a lesser man, he would have cowered under her stone-cold stare.

"You wanna try that again, Uchiha?"

Madara chose his words carefully before he spoke, his voice low and non-defensive, "Sakura lost a child today. Whether she was deciding to keep it or not, she won't have not felt this loss. She will mourn and I will not allow her to do so alone."

TIme slowed, the sharp tick of the clock on the wall seeming to drag between each second as Tsunade fixated her most dangerous glare upon Madara. He half-expected her to order him out of her hospital - half-expected her to punch him into next week - but then her expression relaxed minutely and the tension stiffening her shoulder lessened. If only a little.

"She's in the Recovery Ward on the Fourth Floor," she finally revealed. "But I will warn you, Uchiha, you leave the very moment she tells you to. Even one second longer and I will tear you to shreds. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," he nodded respectfully. The older woman began her exit again, but was stopped again as he continued, "There is one other thing."

Tsunade raised her chin as she crossed her arms. Her fingers tightened around her biceps, her blood-red nails digging into her surgical gown, and he got the vague impression she was restraining herself from putting her fist through his skull but she said nothing as she cocked her head expectantly.

"Sakura was adamant about keeping her pregnancy a secret," Madara said quietly. "I think it would be best for her and everyone else involved if we respected her wishes."

_If they kept it from his clan._

Those words were left unsaid but they hung in the air just as loudly as if they had been voiced. He already knew the interrogation that would come should his clan's elders learn of his relationship with Sakura - however brief - and the miscarriage she had suffered. Their endless questions would only add to her burden and he refused to allow them to make any demands of her when they had no place to interfer.

The tight purse of Tsunade's lips lessened before she nodded. "I will ensure my staff maintains her privacy."

"Thank you," he said sincerely.

Without another word, the powerful woman strode out of the room, the pressure of her chakra fading with every step until Madara was able to finally fill his lungs with air once again. Adrenaline was still pulsing through his veins, much like in the aftermath of a battle with an enemy nin, but he remained outwardly passive even as his emotions continued to rumble like thunder.

Kakashi was watching him.

It appeared they had finally reached a crossroads; a point where they had to make the decision to stand together as pillars of strength for Sakura, or continue their rivalry as she crumbled right before their eyes. A dark emotion twisted within Madara's chest that he might fall second to the other man, but it was a fate that he would have to accept. He would not deny Sakura nor stand in her way if it was Kakashi she truly needed, even if it physically pained him.

"I will let you know if she needs you," Madara murmured.

Kakashi held his gaze as they reached a silent agreement before he eventually nodded. There was no denying the tension that still lingered between them but the animosity that once strained the air had faded.

"Take care of her," Kakashi said.

Madara nodded before the elite Jounin turn and pace out of the room, his shoulders slumped and his hands deep in his pockets. He wasn't even out of sight before Madara too exited the room and followed the hospital signs for the Recovery Ward.

A nurse on the floor directed him towards Sakura's room. The curtain behind the glass door was pulled closed for privacy and he quietly slid the door open before he pushed the drape aside. Inside, Sakura wasn't alone. The Hokage's secondhand, Shizune, was beside the hospital bed, checking Sakura's vitals and marking notes in her chart. Her pen stilled upon his entrance and her eyebrow arched curiously as she observed him but she said nothing before she turned to Sakura.

Her tired, emerald gaze was fixated out the window, staring unseeing at the slowly sinking sun. The hospital gown wrapped around her lithe figure hid her feminine curves and gave her the appearance of being smaller and more fragile than Madara knew her to be. Her normally expressive face was bland like a once stunning picture that had been wiped of its brilliant color. She held the air of someone that had been dragged through hell and come out the other end beaten and defeated with no strength left to recover. His heart broke for her but he remained silent as he fully stepped into the room and quietly slid the door shut behind him.

"How are you feeling?" Shizune asked her, her voice soft and compassionate. "Are you in any pain?"

Sakura simply shook her head, her eyes never wavering from the window.

"Okay. If anything changes, let me know. I'll be around tonight."

She shot Madara a look, silently ordering him to call for her if Sakura was unable or unwilling to do so, before she excused herself.

The soft click of the door echoed in the stillness of the room. Sakura didn't stir but he knew she was acutely aware of his presence by the adamancy in which her stare held out the window. Madara took her lack of acknowledgement as her permission to stay and he silently slipped into the chair provided next to her bed as he watched her.

He had questions; so many questions but his tongue remained behind his teeth. He hadn't come here to corner her and it would be unfair and unkind of him to do so when she was already so vulnerable. And so they sat in silence.

When Sakura finally spoke, her soft whisper seemed to echo loudly in the stillness. "You don't have to stay."

Her voice told the story of the utter, overwhelming stress she had endured and the breaking point that she had reached. Her exhaustion was nearly palpable and his guilt bubbled to the surface as he recognized he had played more than one part in adding to the burden.

"If it does not upset you, I would like to."

Sakura turned her head toward him slowly as she finally looked at him. It wasn't until that moment that he realized how much inner fire had once reflected behind her jade eyes. It was as if someone had blown out a candle in a dark room and he had the sudden urge to reach out and touch her in the hopes that maybe he could breathe life back into that flame.

"You can say it," she murmured. When Madara shook his head faintly, she added, "That I should have told you."

"I think given the circumstances, you did the best you could," he said softly. "And I cannot fault you for that."

Madara saw the moment Sakura's facade began to fracture. Like a string pulled taut for too long, the threads thinning and breaking until the entire strand finally snapped. And before his very eyes, Sakura shattered.

A single tear fell down her face, quickly followed by another until a choked sob ripped from her throat. She buried her face in her hands, though whether to shield herself from his possible reaction or to hide herself away he didn't know. Her anguish hit him like a blow to the chest, cracking and burrowing itself into his hardened heart, and with a great deal of strength, he pushed himself to his feet, his bones like metal rods.

There was nothing he could say. Comforting another had never been a strength but he doubted there were any words in his or anyone else's vocabulary that could be said to ease her despair, and so he didn't speak as he silently slipped into the small, hospital bed beside her and drew her weight into the circle of his arms.

She was small and fragile against his broad, masculine frame - such a contrast to the bold, strong kunoichi she was - but she settled into his arms as if their bodies were made for this very moment and he held her as the burden she had been carrying internally for some time now spilled out. Still, he remained silent, his fingers dragging through her messy, pink locks as his other hand traced muscle patterns into her back, his touch so careful of her physical wounds as he wrapped himself around the pain in her mind and soul.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she repeated over and over. "I didn't know what to do..."

Wet warmth moistened his skin along the column of his neck but he didn't dare move her, didn't care enough to try to convince her into stopping her flow of tears. A large and heavy knot settled within the pit of his stomach like a stone in wet sand, and it took him some minutes to understand its presence.

It was grief.

For the life that was now gone; the baby he had discovered carried his blood only after it was too late. He didn't know if Sakura had planned to keep the child - his child, _their_ child - or not, but the question never passed his lips. What purpose would the knowledge serve now? She had lost their baby by no fault of her own. It didn't matter her answer; it would not slacken the pain either way.

And so he held her.

The shadows on the walls grew longer and darker as the sun bestowed upon them the most brilliant colors of a summer sunset before it dipped below the trees surrounding the village, not to be seen again until the following morning. Madara watched the outside light move unseeingly, his mind distance. It was only once her sobs had faded into something softer and her fingers loosened their desperate grasp on his shirt that he dared adjust his hold. His arm had begun to tingle with the telltale signs of numbness but he only just barely shifted his grip to gaze down at her.

Sleep had finally silenced her. Sakura was out completely, both her body and mind in desperate need of rest. But it wasn't peaceful. She was in a dead sleep - the kind the body needed after enduring a severe trauma and she had endured one.

Her fallopian tube ruptured, Tsunade had said. Sakura had sustained a great injury. Because of him.

Madara knew he couldn't have prevented this - Sakura was a world-renowned medic and had been unable to prevent what had happened - but blame rolled over him like a dark cloud over a sunny sky. He was not at fault here, but he was not faultless either. Sakura had needed him and he had been unavailable physically and emotionally for her. He had been absorbed by his own pride and selfishness to see Kakashi had not be courting her but rather helping her through what was likely one of the hardest times of her life.

Madara couldn't change the past, but he could still shape his future - her future. He would be there for Sakura. For as long as she wanted him to be. And then even longer still. He would be her shoulder to cry on, her source of strength, even her punching bag if she desired. He would be with her every step of the way. She would not be alone.

_**tbc...** _


	5. Chapter 5

_**The Choices We Make** _   
_**MadaSaku** _   
_**Part Five** _

The scent of something warm and savory stirred Sakura's senses and roused her from her sleep. She pressed her face further into her pillow as she chased her lingering dream but the delicious smell teased her nose again, effectively pushing the last traces of her fantasy from her mind.

A sleepy smile turned the corners of her mouth up as the muffled clinking of a pan from the kitchen down the hall reached her ears. She already knew who her early-morning intruder was even without having to sense their chakra, and a warmth surged through her starting in her chest and spreading to her fingers and toes at the familiar presence. It wasn't the first time he had broken into her apartment in the last few weeks and she very seriously doubted it would be the last, not that she ever voiced any complaints anymore.

After allowing herself another minute of laziness, Sakura kicked her sheets away and slipped out of bed. She stifled a yawn as she left her bedroom to pad down the hall to where the pleasant scent was originating from. The soft tinkling of utensils being rummaged through echoed from the main living area and Sakura entered the room just as Madara closed a drawer and returned to the stove top.

Fish was frying in a pan, its mouthwatering flavor audible by the crisp sizzle as it cooked. It overlapped with the bitter scent of coffee, causing her stomach to rumble faintly in anticipation but she didn't immediately move forward as she paused in the doorway.

Madara's movements were effortless as he maneuvered about her tiny kitchenette, having become comfortable in the confined space over the course of the last few weeks. With a practiced hand, he retrieved seasonings from the pantry and checked the fish in the skillet before he pulled plates from the cabinet and chopsticks from the drawer. Silently she leaned against the door frame, a tender expression lining her features, as she watched him work flawlessly.

Six weeks ago, she would have never believed she would be standing here with this man in such a domestic setting. He had seen her at her worst and stuck with her through everything, including a fit of rage that had ended with her favorite mug shattered against the wall and ANBU standing on her doorstep. Emotionally, it had been the hardest night after her surgery, but also a turning point as she awoke some hours later to find her cup pieced back together and Madara lounging on her couch with a book in hand. She hadn't been able to voice her apology at the time but Madara had accepted her into his arms all the same. It was then she knew for certain he was there out of desire rather than responsibility.

It was the only explanation why he kept coming back, why he continued to break into her apartment every morning to make her breakfast, why he found her for lunch or dinner whenever he didn't have clan obligations to see to. Somewhere along the way, his presence had become something for her to look forward to and no matter what her day had made her suffer through, he brought a smile to her face. Some nights she wished he wasn't such a gentleman and would stay with her if only just so she could stay in the protective circle of his arms where she felt safe from the cruel realities of the world.

"You slept well," Madara said as he pulled her favorite green mug from the cabinet.

His teasing tone reached her ears as he filled the cup with coffee and added just enough cream and sugar to sweeten it just the way she liked. Sakura was comfortable enough with him to feel no shame in her current sleepwear and unabashedly she ran her fingers through her messy hair before she pushed off the doorway and accepted the mug from him. Her fingers lightly traced over the cracks and grooves she had made those weeks ago.

"I did," she countered playfully, her smile softening as Madara swept a stray hair out of her face before he returned to the stove.

Sakura followed him, eyeing the miso soup and rice he had laid out as well before she cocked her brow. "You know you don't have to keep making me breakfast."

Madara glanced up at her briefly before he flipped the fish. "Then who would ensure you ate properly?"

She laughed lightly and refrained from reminding him that between the two she was the medic before she sipped from her mug.

"Besides," Madara continued, "I enjoy cooking and it is a good excuse to step away from the clan."

"Oh, I see. Using me to flee from your elders, are you?" she teased.

There was some truth in her words but she had spoken without malice and Madara shot her a vaguely amused look before he paused in his plating to push a square, brown box towards her. "Hatake stopped by earlier and left these for you. He departed for a mission this morning but is expected back by tomorrow evening."

Immediately she straightened upon sight of the plain but familiar package and she flipped the lid open to find a handful of chocolate covered pastries. They were her favorite - a fact her old sensei knew well - and without pause Sakura picked up one of the treats and took a large bite.

Silky, buttery dough mixed with milky chocolate and she groaned in appreciation before she held out the treat to Madara. He didn't share Sakura's sweet tooth but he indulged her nonetheless by swiping some of the frosting from the corner with his finger before he continued preparing their meal.

"How did your meeting with your elders go yesterday?" Sakura asked as he finished plating.

A dejected sigh pressed out of Madara's nose and he eyed her briefly before he picked up their dishes and placed them on her small dining table. "As expected. They are adamant on further branching the clan within different aspects of the village; a fact I have told them is difficult while they insist we increase the number of members stationed within the Military Force and ANBU."

"Tell them to send some members with decent chakra control my way. I'll train them," she offered. "We're always short-staffed and could do with more medics."

Madara gazed at her thoughtfully for a moment before he nodded. "That would be beneficial for all of us. I will suggest that to them. Thank you."

Sakura flashed him a smile before she lifted her coffee mug to her lips, happy to have helped - even if only a bit.

In their time together, Madara had opened up to her little by little. He still kept his most private dealings with his clan to himself, but on occasion he would discuss his frustrations and discontent with his elders' desires for their people as they continued to press their traditional ideals upon Madara. It was mostly trivial things and general knowledge most shinobi already knew, but she was always left feeling a little lighter and content that Madara was comfortable enough to share his personal thoughts with her.

"And what about you?" Sakura asked after she had finished her pastry. "Are they still hounding you for an heir?"

"Of course," Madara said as he returned to retrieve some chopsticks. "But they have been doing so for a number of years now and I expect them to continue to do so until I oblige."

Sakura licked the chocolate that had stuck to her fingertips before she shot him a look. "I've told you before that you can tell them about the miscarriage if it will get them off your back."

"And I have told you before that I am not going to do that," Madara countered calmly. There was no exasperation in his voice but his tone was firm, relaying just how unwavering he was on the subject. "What happened to us is personal and no one's business but our own. I will not use it as leverage to gain pity from my elders and I will not allow you to put yourself in that position."

Sakura frowned. They had already had the same conversation before, and again she wanted him to understand she could handle herself. Having been under Tsunade's tutelage for a number of years, she was well-versed in village politics, but she let her argument slide. She wanted to enjoy their morning.

Humming noncommittally, she sipped from her coffee mug again before she reached for another pastry. Her fingers had barely grazed the treat when Madara turned around again and fixed her with a pointed stare. "Stop eating those. You are going to ruin your appetite and you are going to need energy today."

Sakura ducked her head, feeling much like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. She flashed him placating smile before she grabbed her mug and joined him at her table. "Why? What's today?"

"Today, we are sparring."

"We are?" she asked curiously as she reached for the chopsticks he had laid out for her.

Madara gazed at her briefly before he reached for the soy sauce. "You have not sparred since your surgery. You told me yesterday that you have been out of pain for a few weeks now and Hokage-sama has confirmed that you are fully recovered. It is time you get back into practice."

"Well that's hardly fair," she teased as she reached for her soup. She fought the wide grin that was threatening to break out across her face as she cocked her brow at Madara. It seemed he was still determined to help her get back on her feet. "You spar almost every day."

"I will go easy on you."

The corner of her mouth lifted in a daring smile. "I am going to make you regret saying that so badly."

Madara smirked as a challenging light entered his dark orbs but he didn't answer as he sipped his soup.

They slipped into a comfortable silence but it was short-lived as Sakura finally tasted the fish he had prepared for them. A pleased groan sounded low in her throat as its lightly seasoned flavor and buttery texture melted on her tongue. Sakura used to pride herself on being a decent cook but after tasting Madara's dishes, hers were like cardboard in comparison. He thoroughly spoiled her. She doubted she could ever eat a meal prepared by her hand after this.

"This is so good," she mumbled around her mouthful.

Across the table, Madara's expression relaxed as he smiled faintly. "I am pleased you enjoy it."

"If you ever give up the shinobi life, you should become a chef. Or a stay-at-home husband. You'd be perfect!"

"That is my intention."

Sakura slowly stilled as his meaning gradually sunk in. She flickered her gaze up to meet his and she swallowed the rest of her mouthful thickly as a feeling she couldn't quite name slipped under her ribcage and made it harder to expand her lungs. Madara was watching her closely with a softness in his gaze she had seen before but hadn't fully understood until now. Its meaning was suddenly so clear and her heart pounded against her breastbone as she was faced with this abrupt truth.

Under his unwavering gaze, her words escaped her. He had never looked more devastatingly handsome than in that moment as the normally hard edges of his expression softened from an emotion she didn't dare name just yet.

"W-what?" she finally stuttered.

"Do not panic. I do not mean right now," Madara told her calmly. "Neither of us are quite ready to make vows and until we are both certain of our affections towards each other, we should not take that step. However, I do care a great deal for you and it is my intention to court you, if you would find that agreeable."

Sakura shook her head slowly. "If this is because of the miscarriage, you don't owe me-."

"This is not about the miscarriage," he interrupted not unkindly. He slipped into the chair beside her until the table no longer separated them and he angled himself to face her fully. "We have been through much together in recent weeks. It is not uncommon for emotions to get muddled in the stress and turmoil of it all, but I do not believe that is the case. I care a great deal for you." Genuine affection colored his tone and Sakura melted under his light touch as he cupped her face. His thumb traced the smooth curve of her cheekbone as he held her gaze steadily. "It would bring me great joy if you allowed me the opportunity to court you."

A soft sigh passed her lips and her eyes slipped closed as she leaned into his touch. This wasn't the first time Madara had revealed his gentler side to her, but it was the first time he had done so so openly, and the tenderness he was displaying warmed her down to her very soul. She thought she might burst with joy.

Madara was right in that they had been through a trying ordeal together. They had butted heads, and argued and yelled and hurt together; but they had also found solace in the other and some resemblance of peace. Emotions had been high and it was easy for the lines to get blurred between what was commiseration and what was real, but the riptide that had been their life after her surgery had calmed to a slow, rolling sea some time ago and her feelings were as clear to her as though she were looking at them through still water.

"Yes," Sakura murmured. She opened her eyes again as she reached up to rest her hand over the one still cradling her jaw. "Yes, I would like that."

The corners of Madara's mouth stretched into a tender smile and before Sakura could consider what she was doing, she leaned forward and kissed him. He stilled against her mouth but the initial surprise faded quickly and he kissed her back before she could withdraw from him.

It was their first kiss since their shared night in the Hokage's Tower, but this time there was no cloudy haze of lust dulling their judgment and controlling their actions; only affection as Madara used the hand on her jaw to angle her face while the other slipped to the back of her neck. His fingers tangled into her hair but his grip wasn't dominant or commanding as his mouth moved with hers, touching and tasting as if he had all the time in the world.

Sakura grasped his forearm to steady herself and she moaned quietly at the power and strength under her fingertips. It was thrilling to have such a dangerous shinobi who could make even the best cower in his presence display so much restraint and tenderness, and it wasn't long before the familiar trickle of heat began to pool in the pit of her stomach.

She wanted to feel him, wanted to remember what his skin felt like pressed hotly against hers, but before she could slip into his lap, Madara pulled away. A disappointed whine echoed in her throat and her eyes opened to find him smirking teasingly. But there was desire burning in the depths of his obsidian gaze and she swallowed thickly as she willed the pulsing heat to die from between her legs. It wouldn't do well for them to start the same way they had before.

"We should finish breakfast," Madara said, even as his fingers lingered against her skin. "We will want to spar before it becomes too hot."

Reluctantly Sakura released her grip on his arm before she picked up her chopsticks once more. If they weren't going to slip into bed together, she supposed a sparring match was the next best option. "I'm going to beat you into the ground."

An amused smirk passed his face and he reached for his plate before he settled it on the table where he sat in his new spot beside her - exactly where she wanted him to be.

"I look forward to it."

_**end** _

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written as the result of having a horrible summer last year. Without exaggeration. To cope, I wrote some heavy, heavy angst. 
> 
> So prepare yourself because it's going to get worst before it gets better.


End file.
